i did it in the hallway, where would you do it?

•September 7, 2009 • 22 Comments

Well my weekend is almost over and cor blimey it is so great to be as excited about the week as it is to be excited about the weekend!  For me it’s all the same now, I have as much fun in my work as I do at home, the only difference is in one I spend money and in the other I earn it!

I may sound like a hippy when I talk this way but it’s so true and so important.  If I’m not having fun in my life and work then you might as well lock me in a dark room, and not feed me for a week.  I mean, people say that we need food and water to survive but where’s the fun in that equation? I mean come on, are you trying to tell me that a life without fun and laughter is worth living? I didn’t think so.

I meet so many people who are miserable and gloomy all day, so particularly for those people I want to share with you a video of one of my finer moments.

Whatever you’re doing today and whoever you’re with, take a leaf out of my book and try not to take yourself so seriously 😉

Happy Monday!

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You don’t have to be Great to Start, but you have to Start to be Great

•August 11, 2009 • Leave a Comment
It’s hours before I fly to Greece and leave behind all traces of my current life, well my blackberry and laptop mainly. I’ve traded in my blackberry for a mobile that my friend dug out of the bottom of her cupboard, and after we wiped the dust off we could see it was an old Nokia, no numbers to give it a name so let’s just call it Mavis for now.

So with Mavis charging I wanted to connect with you before I leave because unlike a lot of other bloggers, I won’t be taking you with me. It’s not because you don’t mean the world to me, on the contrary you mean everything to me, I just need some ‘Emma’ time, so I’m “Taking Time Out for Myself”.

But anyway that’s not why I’m writing this though, so what’s my point?

Well my point is very simple, for all those goals, dreams, ambitions and ideas you have, the most important and ironically easiest thing for you to do is take the first step.  For those first 10 of you who subscribed to my http://www.youtube.com/emergisechannel I want to thank you for helping me achieve one of my goals, to start an Emergise Video blog. I’ve been putting it off and putting it off, until I couldn’t anymore because, quite simply, I was annoying myself!

The crazy thing about all of this is how easy it felt once I’d done it. You see things are never as hard as you expect them to be, and as a wise woman, Rhian Pamphilon, once said to me:

“You don’t have to be Great to Start, but you have to Start to be Great” You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great

Losing my virginity…again

•August 7, 2009 • Leave a Comment

“Feel the fear and do it anyway” Susan Jeffers

Hello Mum, this is going to be hard for you to read…

•July 21, 2009 • 6 Comments

I just want to thank my sister in law for sharing this with me so that I can now share it with all of you…

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/hello-mum-this-is-going-to-be-hard-for-you-to-read-1753008.html

Rifleman Cyrus Thatcher

In the words of 19 year old Rifleman Cyrus Thatcher:

“I want each and everyone of you to forfill a dream and at the end of it look at what you have done (completed) and feel the accomplishment and achievement I did only then will you understand how I felt when I passed away.”

 It’s never too late to start living so decide what you want and go out and bloody get it!

I didn’t forget to call, I just remembered to not call.

•June 26, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I’ve never really had a relationship with my Dad, in fact for most of my life; he hasn’t been around, until recently.  Don’t get me wrong, we both tried to have a relationship, but something just got in the way every time, we got in the way.  I would say something, he would misunderstand and flip out and that would be it for another few years, and so it went on, until 18months ago.  18 months ago I decided that this time it would work.  I can’t really tell you why this time was different, I just decided that it was, and together we’ve started to make it happen.  It was the most honest I’d ever been with myself and my Dad, I expressed how I felt and why it never worked.  I heard him say words that I don’t remember hearing before “I’m sorry, I love you”.   The blame had disappeared, there was no need to hold onto the lack of him anymore, there was no anger, there was no regret, there was just Now. 

My relationship with my Dad has been evolving slowly; we’ve met face to face a couple of times and spoken on the phone.  We had lunch on his birthday a few weeks ago with my brother and his wife, my brother grew up with him, so they have a different relationship.  Was it like having a normal birthday lunch with your Dad?  I wouldn’t know, I don’t think so.

I think the most amazing thing about all of this is seeing part of me in him, that I have his genes.  I really do have a Dad, a parent in the living world.  We have the same eyes and chin, now I know where I get my baby’s bottom from (on my chin silly).  He jumps to and from different voices all the time, he’s joking so often and laughing, I’m laughing with my Dad…I’m laughing with my Dad. 

So is that it now?  Do I suddenly have a great relationship with my Dad and were our past lives together just a bad dream?  I wish it was that simple, but everything needs work, every time we do something new we have to put effort into it.  When we make a change in our lives, we must keep working on that change until it becomes natural for us, unconscious for us.  How long does that take?  Well, as long as it takes.

So did I get angry when I got a text from my Dad making sure his Father’s Day card was in the post?  Sure.  How could he not understand that you can’t miss someone when you’ve never really had them?  Why would Fathers Day suddenly mean something to me when it’s meant nothing for most of my life?  Then I realised, this was just him getting excited, for the first time, he may actually be recognised by both his children on Father’s Day instead of just his son.  To me, this was my chance to phone up and apologise for why he didn’t get a card or call from me, I’ve been busy, I forgot, it’s in the post…all those normal excuses one may give to one’s Dad.   

This year Fathers Day happened in my life, maybe as excuses but it still happened…that’s why I made that call 18 months ago.  

I have to go now; I promised my Dad I’d call him for a catch up…

Life’s too short to be taken too seriously!

•May 29, 2009 • 2 Comments

Take a deep breath, sit back and de-stress for a moment with this hysterical 5 minute video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4fPHt0FjEU       http://groups.to/emergise-startliving

Life’s too short so lighten up and enjoy the ride 😉

 

To the gentleman (I mean animal) I had the pleasure (I mean misfortune) of talking to this morning, I would like to say thank you kindly for your despicable and totally offensive words as you have made me realise, even more, how good I am at communication.  To the gentleman in question I would like to recommend that you relieve yourself of your obvious stress in an activity of your choice (!), watch this video, and teach yourself what you’re meant to be teaching others! 

Note to self: always walk my own talk and never speak to anyone the way I was spoken to this morning. 

Response to self: Noted and don’t worry, I never would!

Love is … a living hell

•May 23, 2009 • 6 Comments

Emergise - LoveOf course it’s not, Love is incredible.  Yet for some people it’s not, I mean really, love is literally a living hell for them, and because they don’t know any different, they think it will always be that way.  They honestly believe that even though they’re being beaten, that they’re in love.  They honestly believe that even though they lie through their teeth to their partners, that they’re in love. They honestly believe that even though their partner is never ever faithful or even that they’re never ever faithful, that they’re in love. 

I was there, in that relationship where I lived in fear of upsetting my boyfriend. 

I was on tender hooks the whole time and it didn’t matter where we were, he would find a room he could take me into to convince me he was right.  If he couldn’t then I knew I would get it in the car or back at home.   Sometimes it would be physical but most of the time it was mental, abuse is abuse. You see this guy was good; in fact this guy was great at making him feel and look better by putting me down.  If only I could admit he was right on everything then his life would be perfect.  If that meant he had to lock us both in a room for hours, refusing to let me out until I finally agreed with him, then that’s what he would do.   You see tears of pain and sorrow don’t wash with abusers, in fact sometimes I think my tears just made him stronger.

Neither of us valued or loved ourselves enough.  All the while he was forcing me to make him right, forcing me to put him on the pedestal that deep down, he couldn’t put himself on.  All the while I let him beat me down, I let him abuse me and take away my right to an opinion, to a life, a life that, deep down, I didn’t think I deserved.   

“Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.”  Zig Ziglar

Imagine for a moment that maybe I attracted him into my life to confirm what I felt inside, that I was not worthy, that I didn’t deserve true happiness.  Imagine for a moment that maybe he attracted me into his life so for three and a half years he didn’t have to face up to his own sadness; he could pretend that everything was great.  Imagine that for a moment.

Since then I have learnt my lesson.  I have learnt that I am worthy and I do deserve true happiness.  Since then I have learnt to take responsibility for my own happiness and my own life, and to ask for help when I need it.

Would I let someone treat me that way again? Hell no.

Would I let someone get close to treating me that way again?   If I start to doubt myself, then it’s a possibility. 

If we imagine for a moment that maybe we attract people into our lives that reflect what’s going on inside of us, then of course it’s a possibility.   One thing I’m sure of is as long as I truly love and value myself, I know that others will do the same.

 

“Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve… Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight.”  Mark Victor Hansen

 

If you’re in a similar situation to this then know that you’re not alone, there is an amazing light at the end of your tunnel, and start to believe in yourself.  Take matters into your own hands, talk to someone and things will start to get easier.  If you don’t have anyone you can speak to then contact me and I will put you in touch with someone who can help you. 

If you know someone who is in a similar situation to this then let them know that you’re there for them when they need you.  Leave your door open for them and when they’re ready they’ll walk through it.